November 19, 2004

I've kept up with fly lady! Oh yeah! And I have donated 11 bags of clothes so far! I have finally made a dent. But, probably could donate at LEAST another 11 bags. Then we are going through Vince clothes too! In fact, I have a pile waiting on the bed for him when he gets home from work. I will have him tell me if wants to keep them or not. He has a lot he don't like, or that are too small for him. So we are getting rid of them! It's only a small pile right now. I will just have him do a little at a time since he works.

Any way, did a lot today did 3-15 minute segments! It's still a disaster, but it will get there!

The really sad thing, that is keeping me going is Oprah's show yesterday! See, it was on hoarding compulsions. I believe I have it a little. Really even though my house wasn't nearly as filthy as the woman's on there (mine's mainly clutter!). I can relate. I mean.... well it starts with the weight. I can see so many correlations between clutter/hoarding and obesity. No one wakes up one day 250-300 pounds, no one wakes up one day with a disastrous house. It slowly takes over. Also like with weight when you try to lose it, and you mess up one day you say oh well I ruined the day I am a failure and you quit (most times), same with the clutter, you try to get rid of it, and you mess up one day, and you think you ruined every thing and you quit. Also like weight, when you have 100 or more pound to lose it takes a long time to lose it! And you have to just try to take it as a journey and focus on small segments, cause 100 or more pounds is not coming off over night. A disastrous house won't be clean over night, you have to take it in small segments.

Oprah said over and over again she didn't understand how the woman could live like that. (granted it was disgusting!). But, I thought, I wish I could talk to Oprah. Cause see Oprah was 100 pounds or more over weight at one time. Oprah kept saying most people would do this or that at this or that point. I want to say to Oprah a lot of people if they gain just 5 or 10 pounds jump on it, and cut back on desserts, exercise more, etc until they get that 5 or 10 pounds off. But, something in us didn't make us stop... sure we tried some things, but we didn't stick with it, till we were more then 100 pounds over weight. It's the same with a cluttered house, sure most people would do something at a small point... something in us weather it's a compulsion, depression or a compulsion driven by depression or other health problems, started it then it was hard to dig out of it! So I think if I could explain it that way to Oprah maybe she could relate. This all just came to me while I was watching the show. Just how much obesity and the clutter can relate. Even though not all obese people are clutterers, and not all clutterers are obese. The root problems are the same! Depression, compulsion, illnesses!

Any way it's helped open my mind a little more to why I got to this point. And just like I have resolved this time to not let my weight over come me again, I am not going to let the clutter win again either. I will beat it, and over come it. It will just take some more loving my self (just like losing weight has). And working on truly finding the root problems and working on changing them!

Well, that's my book for today!

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